South America 💃 in 2023

Spent lots of time last month getting a CPF, bank, and SIM in Brazil and it's mostly a bureaucratic humiliation ritual for foreigners where every step goes wrong, including steps you never knew existed.

Across Asia I can generally land, get a SIM with working data in minutes and maybe even open a bank account within an hour.

For years you could get a CPF by email, so you'll find countless people telling you online it's quick and easy. That information is now out of date. Here's the truth as of 2026:

You used to be able to get the whole thing done at Banco do Brasil or the Correios for R$7. Now they just charge you to fill out and print a form you can do yourself online for free. Bargain.

Either way, you then have to take the form to the Receita Federal (RF). You can't just turn up during opening hours either. You won't even get past the security guard.

It took two trips before he finally shared the secret: you need to be there at 8am, an hour before they open, because they only issue 15 CPFs per day. 🤯

So on the third trip I at least knew to turn up early. I was 3rd in line and it still took 2 hours, but I did at least get confirmation my CPF would arrive by email within a week. Hard part over. You'd think.

Then came the phone number.

I tried to buy a Vivo eSIM online, but to buy a Brazilian phone number from their website you need a Brazilian phone number to sign up. Makes sense, why else would you be wanting to buy a phone number from a telco if you didn't already have one. 🐔🥚

So I figured I'd try going to a store. They tell me they don't sell prepaid SIMs or issue eSIMs, and that I should go buy one at a kiosk. Apple stores also don't sell iPhones anymore I hear.

The kiosk sells physical SIMs. Fine. I'll activate it in my old phone, convert it to eSIM and move it to my real phone. I am sure that'll all go smoothly. I figured activation would work at least. Nope.

I text my CPF to the activation number and they say it's invalid. Awesome. Of course it is. Why would that work. 🤪

The store can't activate it either. Apparently it can take ~3 months for a new CPF to propagate through their systems and I need to “use it in other systems” in the meantime, like the supermarket.

Five hours of online support later (they do let you AFK at least 🙃), they finally activate the SIM using a photo of my passport next to my CPF on my phone.

Except because it was activated with my passport, not my CPF, I can't convert it to eSIM or use their app, and they text me every few days threatening to deactivate my line. Wonderful.

Then they tell me the SIM can't even receive SMS until I top it up. Makes sense, why make it work like other telcos when you can add random extra steps.

So I try to top it up, but their website requires SMS verification to do that, and my phone can't even receive that SMS. One must already have credit to acquire credit. Nice.

So I top it up through Ding instead. Why not, we've come this far. I'd have used my Brazil bank but of course I can't get one of those until the number works.

Now I finally have a working Brazilian SIM with data, but only in my old phone, and every few days they text me that my CPF is invalid and they're going to deactivate my line. Done? Done.

Next the bank.

I discover that most banks won't let a foreigner open an account with just a CPF anymore. My friends have all kinds of accounts that you can no longer obtain. You now need additional Brazilian ID that generally only residents and long-term visa holders can obtain.

I did eventually manage to open a C6 account and get PIX working, but that account is tied to the same phone number that may randomly self-immolate.

So after a week I have a CPF that some systems recognize and some don't, a bank account tied to that number, and a SIM card I can't put in my actual phone.

At least I can finally pay for my own Mate 😂🍹

Welcome to Brazil 🇧🇷

Rio de Janeiro is still my favorite city in South America, and it's not even close. It has one of the worst reputations of any major tourist destination, and I wish fewer people wrote it off as dangerous.

The beaches are great, the food is exceptional, and the whole vibe is exciting year round. You don't even have to aim for carnival. It'll be a blast either way.

I started traveling LATAM in 2023 and visited Buenos Aires, Santiago, and Lima, before hitting Rio for the first time. Lima was great, but Rio stood out for me.

Many stay away out of fear for safety. Rio has crime problems, but honestly it's very manageable. Don't do dumb things and you can avoid most of the problems. I've never visited a favela. I'm not really into samba, so I tend to avoid that side of things when I'm there.

I stick to the southern districts most of the time. Leblon is where I like to stay, Ipanema is good too, maybe Copacabana at a push. Walking around these areas is safe enough during the day and not too bad at night. Botafogo needs a bit more care. Further north, I do door-to-door Ubers.

The best tourist attraction IMO is Pão de Açucar (Sugarloaf Mountain). Go on a weekday for no queue and almost no one at the top. The views are incredible. Rio really is beautiful. Cristo is worth seeing but I found going up a bit underwhelming.

I love walking the beach strip. It's a great way to get your steps in and it's pleasant any day of the week, especially on Sundays and public holidays when they close the road to traffic. Sunset from Arpoador is always beautiful. I've never spent as much time at the beach as I do in Rio. There are vendors bringing food and drink, free showers, volleyball, and beautiful people everywhere.

Finding great food can be a challenge. It's best to make Brazilian friends and get their recommendations. Google Reviews can be pretty unreliable, but there are loads of incredible restaurants, especially in Leblon.

Making friends while traveling is usually hard for me, but in Rio it happened naturally. Brazilians are friendly, and people would often hear me speaking English and come over to practice theirs.

Learning a bit of Portuguese goes a long way. Locals are receptive even if your attempts are bad. Mine is ropey but you can get pretty far by adapting any Spanish you know.

Rio isn't a perfect city. It has real problems. But it's one of the few places I've visited that genuinely lives up to the hype.

Every time I leave, I'm already thinking about when I'll come back!

🇧🇷 Em português:

Rio de Janeiro continua sendo minha cidade favorita da América do Sul, e não chega nem perto das outras. Tem uma das piores reputações entre grandes destinos turísticos, e eu queria que menos gente deixasse de visitar por achar que é perigoso, porque é uma cidade incrível.

As praias são ótimas, a comida é excelente e o clima da cidade é animado o ano inteiro. Nem precisa ir no Carnaval. Já vale muito a pena em qualquer época.

Comecei a viajar pela América Latina em 2023 e passei por Buenos Aires, Santiago e Lima antes de ir ao Rio pela primeira vez. Lima foi ótima, mas o Rio foi o que mais me marcou.

Muita gente evita por medo de segurança. O Rio tem sim problemas de criminalidade, mas no dia a dia é bem administrável. Tendo bom senso e evitando besteira, dá pra evitar a maioria dos problemas. Nunca fui a favela e não curto muito samba, então não costumo explorar esse lado quando estou lá.

Fico mais na Zona Sul na maior parte do tempo. Gosto mais de ficar no Leblon, Ipanema também é ótima, e Copacabana dá pra considerar. Nessas áreas dá pra andar tranquilo durante o dia e relativamente bem à noite. Botafogo já exige um pouco mais de atenção. Mais pra cima, prefiro ir e voltar de Uber.

A melhor atração turística, na minha opinião, é o Pão de Açúcar. Indo durante a semana não tem fila e quase ninguém no topo. A vista é absurda. O Cristo vale a visita, mas achei a subida meio decepcionante.

Gosto muito de caminhar pela orla. É ótimo pra bater perna e funciona em qualquer dia da semana, especialmente aos domingos e feriados quando fecham a avenida. O pôr do sol no Arpoador é sempre bonito. Acho que nunca passei tanto tempo na praia quanto no Rio. Tem vendedores, duchas públicas, vôlei e muita gente bonita.

Comida boa pode ser um pouco mais difícil de achar. O ideal é fazer amizade com brasileiros e pedir recomendações. O Google Maps nem sempre ajuda muito, tem bastante avaliação falsa. Mas tem muitos restaurantes ótimos, principalmente no Leblon.

Fazer amizade viajando normalmente é difícil pra mim, mas no Rio aconteceu naturalmente. Brasileiros são bem receptivos e muitas vezes me ouviam falando inglês e vinham puxar conversa pra praticar.

Aprender um pouco de português ajuda muito. Mesmo errando bastante, as pessoas são bem abertas. O meu ainda é meio quebrado, mas dá pra se virar bem misturando com espanhol.

O Rio não é uma cidade perfeita, tem problemas reais. Mas é um dos poucos lugares que eu visitei que realmente faz jus à fama. Toda vez que eu vou embora, já fico pensando em quando vou voltar.

Spent 3 months in Rio this year after enjoying a shorter visit before Carnival

😄 People are friendly and generally seem happy living in a sunny beach city

🥩 Food is good but can be tricky to find great places, best to get recommendations

🏖️ Beach never gets boring, I did more beach days here than anywhere else

⚠️ Danger is overstated, South Zone is safe enough, avoid favelas and crowded sambas

⛰️ Pao de Asucar is a great day out, beautiful, no queue, was up in 15 minutes

I’ll totally be back, probably my favorite place in Latin America, would Rio again

Flying to Australia even just to transit is a total pain, I filled out a 12 page form to enter for 6h to transit to Chile 🇨🇱

Bali check-in staff couldn’t find my visa in the system though 🤯

Turns out I selected “British subject” instead of “British citizen” on that massive form. Stupid me? 🤦‍♂️

Props to Bali check-in staff for working out the problem, “British subject” applies to approximately no one at this point, so why is this even an option 😵‍💫

Staff were super helpful and fixed it with a quick call to Aus immigration 🙏

Most countries let most nationalities stay for 3 months visa-free, many even enter China for 72h that way, not sure why the Aussies make this so hard 😂